One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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