And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
