He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
