you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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