Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
