i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
