we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
