thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
