It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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