we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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