I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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