I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
