How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
