you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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