I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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