matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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