You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
