I wannas sexs uuuuu
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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