There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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