I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
