Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize