I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
