i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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