Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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