my vag is so smooth its legendary
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
