I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
