You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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