I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
