Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
