We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
