No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize