He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
