wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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