i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
