I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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