Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I need to align my fucking chakras
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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