what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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