at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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