So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I need to sanitize my soul.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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