she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
