So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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