I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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