More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Your penis caused this!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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