peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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