That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
