if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
