just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
