Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
