If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
