ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
