She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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