At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
