I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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