Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize