This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
