Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
