don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
