So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
