the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize