i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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