Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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