he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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