Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
